i love being tight with teachers because you get to hear them talk shit about other teachers its so funny they all act like highschoolers except they get paid
Today my sister asked me for a glass of cold water and i sarcastically asked her “how cold” and she said “as frigid as your love life”
(Source: the-vashta-nerada, via luluthebluepirate)
The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.
(via cookiesarebomb)
Fuck me hard and quote lord of the rings
(Source: samskrit, via olly-murmaid)
